I changed my job to be in harmony with myself
By: M.M. (Spain)
As my friend Jessica wrote some time ago, before big changes come, first we experience chaos. That is how I felt some years ago: completely in chaos. This is not a story of physical disruption, but looking back and in hindsight it definitely was a psychological disruption.
I spent more than a year feeling like I was pedaling on a bicycle, faster and faster but further and further away from anywhere. I was working very hard at work, and I kept pushing myself further and further to get recognition, which I felt I was not getting from others and much less from myself.
My dark mood led me to go to a psychologist, though I could hardly communicate with him because I could not stop crying. He said that in order for us to advance that I would need to go to a psychiatrist too … a psychiatrist ! This shocked me into realizing the gravity of my situation. I followed the recommendation and went to the doctor.
One day, though, for the first time, I intuitively decided to ask the universe for a wish: simply to be well. And the universe (conjured up by my inner hero) started providing. I asked to be well one week and then the next week … these wishes started turning into my reality, and I started asking for wellbeing for those that I love and those wishes also came true. I remember this time as quite magical.
Soon an opportunity arose to travel to a small island in Kenya with a friend, and I thought this trip would do me a lot of good. What I didn’t realize was that not only would this trip make me happy, but it would also take me a longer journey. When I returned from my holiday in Kenya, I decided to apply for a 5 month long volunteer role at an NGO that I had visited on the island, helping them with accounting and their social networks. I really pushed for this, as I was starting to believe in myself, and not only was I sure that the time there would do me good, but I also was sure that I could help them immensely. They accepted my help and so I got my suitcases ready again a few months later and ventured to Kenya, this time to stay there for numerous months at a Childrens´ Hospital and orphanage of the NGO Anidan, in Lamu, Kenya.
My time in this beautiful island took on the most important journey of my life: an inner self journey that allowed me to find the peace that I was looking for during a long time, as well as all the beauty that surrounded me and was within me.
After these months in Kenya, I came back to my job, but as is usually the case, when we make small changes inside ourselves, big changes happen in our environment. I naturally started setting boundaries around what was not in harmony with me. So a few months later I decided to leave my job definitively, looking for one that made me feel happier and more free. During this transition time I had to face difficult challenges that raised fears, but deep down it was a fun time. I didn’t doubt myself, and so I was certain that everything was going to be fine. That trust in myself allowed me to enjoy the change.
Today I have a job that is in harmony with me. I have left Finance and I am the Director of a school, where I have the opportunity to be creative, and I am thankful for it every day. I still face many challenges, but now I know they are clues that the universe brings me to uncover my self-imposed limitations and work through them.
Now U are the hero has crossed my path. I think it´s a sign from the universe that I should continue to dare to dream: this time contributing in a project that can help others, give hope and discover many heroes that will inspire me.