I no longer do. I am.
By: Ana Martinez (Spain)
In February 2016, life offered me a new opportunity to stop outside noise and enter myself. In the same week, a migraine attack, two left shoulder problems, the annual compression bandage treatment for my left leg lymphedema, and an outbreak of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. True to the beliefs and actions that had brought me to that point, I continued in the DOING.
I began to intuit that maybe life was about something else and I opened the door to another voice that lived in me and for many years I ignored that it spoke to me about BEING.
I discovered Tai Chi, meditation and Reiki. I stopped all four feeding targets and woke up with 36 deep breaths.
In May 2017 I was diagnosed with a tumor in my left breast. Upon hearing the diagnosis, a phrase crossed my mind from an absolute certainty: “It is a poorly managed emotion and you are going to heal it.”
Some time later I observed that, at that moment, that was not the language I used: Blocked emotions? Healing?
The days before diagnosis were difficult. After it, everything in me settled, a feeling of support and peace accompanied me.
Something that I had never allowed myself was necessary, ASK FOR HELP: “I don’t know if at some point I can’t, take care of and support my family” I asked family and friends that I gathered to explain the situation.
I just opened up to life and the infinite possibilities it offered me.
I never feared for my life, perhaps it is illusory. Now I think about it and I appreciate the strength of that certainty.
I never felt in struggle, I felt a lot of peace and, above all, HEALING.
I lived totally unconscious, many times I ignored the whisper of life, without meaning every day, without enjoying my wonderful family, without stopping to take care of myself or observe me …
I changed my diet, I put awareness in the care of my energy, I raised my vibration, I investigated, I read, I followed inspiring people. I started to let myself be loved and above all… to LOVE MYSELF.
I felt I was not in a hurry but I gave time to each circumstance, emotion, to go through the process at its own pace.
Only me, my beliefs and my thoughts limited me. I made the decision to have an EXTRAORDINARY LIFE, listen to the birds, feel the breeze, laugh, hug…
I understood that I always used illness, unconsciously, to hide my light. It was hard and very healing because that allows me to make decisions from another place.
Supported by many tools; Astrology, Inner Alchemy, Family Constellations, Meditation, Chi Kung, Reiki, Personal Development, have given me a different vision of the path to reach the same peak: live in coherence, believe in me, include myself in my life, accept, trust, freedom, joy.
Now at 53 years old, I know that doing my job each day, THANKING, and being responsible for myself has healed aspects in all areas of my life. I no longer do. I am.