Struggling to conceive despite PCOS

By Annibel Tejada (U.S.A.)

TK and I were trying to conceive for 2 years. I never thought of having kids until I met him. I remember our first conversation about this topic; we were at a club and he asked me to move in with him. I jokingly said, “and have 3 kids?” He responded, “sure we can have 3.”

After trying to conceive for 16 months with no success, I decided to visit an endocrinologist and OBGYN. Multiple blood work tests and physical exams confirmed that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and at that time high prolactin levels. As they explained what the diagnosis was, I couldn’t really focus. On the train back home, I was on my iPhone searching anything that would come to mind because during the doctors’ appointments I couldn’t ask any questions.

On the train back home, I went on a Google search about PCOS.  I realized how Google can be a blessing and a curse. Most of the answers were negative. This time in my life was painful. Friends and family were having babies. While I was happy for them, I was experiencing anxiety, fear, uncertainty and shame. Many people were asking when TK and I would have a baby. Those comments were hurtful. I knew I could not drown in this pain. I decided to join a group online of women going through infertility due to PCOS. For the first time I felt hopeful.

Whenever a month would pass and the pregnancy test was negative, I would feel anxious or trigger about not getting pregnant. During those times I would internalize this medical disorder. “Am I not enough?” “Why does my body keep letting me down?” As I was working with my doctors to regulate my menstrual cycle, I started exercising, practicing yoga 5x a week, drinking more water and eating healthier. I started meditating and journaling. Infertility was a driving force to become a better person inside out for my future kids. I developed courage, resilience and assertiveness skills that I didn’t know I had.

Changing my eating habits and taking the supplements that my body was lacking was all I needed to regulate my period. Even after these changes the pregnancy tests were still negative each month. After trying to conceive for this long, I was excited and nervous to be seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). While we decided to seek professional help, I became intentional about my mental health. Journaling, meditating, eating healthy, practicing yoga/exercising felt delicious in my body and mind but for some reason something else was missing. This is where I learned about affirmations/intentions. During the fertility treatment cycles, I created a new affirmation, “I am where I’m supposed to be, and I got this.”

My self-care practice/habits and tribe prepared my mind and body to conceive.

This journey taught me the beauty of duality. I experienced joy and pain, vulnerability and resiliency, courage and fear. At the end, I experienced the blessing of having GGG triplets.

Comments:

2 thoughts on “Struggling to conceive despite PCOS


Jessica
19 January 2021

What a triple blessing you received! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Annibel. Such an amazing and transformational journey. YOU are the hero.

Julia R.
22 January 2021

Congratulations Annibel for your determination in following your dreams… and for achieving them! I especially admire how you have managed adversity and used it to help yourself grow. Thanks for sharing your story! It is very uplifting!

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